August 2nd is a big week for DVD releases. It took three posts to break down the 15 releases and after recommending to buy The Lobster and The Bronze in the first 2 parts (while delivering the verdict on 8 others), here is the final 5 releases to receive the buy it, rent it, stream it, skip it treatment with 1 more recommended purchase. (Hint: It’s Keanu!):
Keanu —MOVIE HOT TAKE REVIEW—
Super Simple Synopsis: Key, Peele and the world’s most adorable gangster kitten.
You know how you keep watching old Key and Peele sketches on YouTube and then binge watch a bunch of cat videos? Yeah, well, this is like doing that. Only better.
Did you see the kitten? Seriously! Look at that kitten!
I’m not sure you’re understanding how this works. You should be renting or buying Keanu and here you are thinking about streaming it? What is going on?
I don’t even know who you are anymore.
MHT Verdict: Buy it!
Key and Peele plus an incredibly photogenic kitten equal an entertainment gold mine.
The American Side –NO REVIEW–
Super Simple Synopsis: A private detective investigates an apparent suicide but stumbles onto something bigger — a conspiracy involving the long lost designs of inventor Nikola Tesla.
You love film noir and this promises to pay homage in a big way.
Interesting supporting cast but who the hell is Greg Stuhr?
There’s something about the trailer that makes The American Side feel like something you’d stumble across at 3am on Netflix.
You’re on the Canadian side.
MHT Verdict: Stream it!
As much as those Rotten Tomatoes ratings look promising, 9 out of 12 critics and 212 out of 246 audience reviewers could be wrong.
Batman: The Killing Joke –NO REVIEW–
Super Simple Synopsis: Animated Batman tale based on the 1988 graphic novel of the same name.
Sure, it’s animated but it’s Batman! And Mark Hamill is The Joker!
You have kids and this isn’t for them so you can’t have it lying around them house and have them accidentally watch it. They’ll be traumatized. Maybe.
With reviews as mixed as this is getting, it might be best to wait to see it on an “all you can eat” subscription service.
You’re a Marvel fan boy.
MHT Verdict: Rent it!
Yet another different take on the Caped Crusader and The Joker. Although we’ve proven time and time again we can’t get enough.
Manhattan Night –NO REVIEW–
Super Simple Synopsis: Porter Wren, an NYC tabloid writer with a penchant for scandal.
Adrien Brody is your spirit animal. (I really don’t know what that means but it sounded good at the time. In retrospect, it sounds pretty dumb but I don’t have anything else so we’re going to have to live with this.)
Remember those sexually charged thrillers of the early ’90s? This kind of looks like one of those.
The movie looks kind of lame but Yvonne Strahovski looks pretty hot.
You prefer Queens Morning.
MHT Verdict: Stream it!
Anything to move on from this one. This one deserves a Bronx cheer. (The review not the movie.)
Meet the Blacks —MOVIE HOT TAKE REVIEW—
Super Simple Synopsis: This rip-off of The Purge is proof that parody can exist without humor.
When I think of a reason, I’ll get back to you.
Someone just said, “50 Shades of Black is the worst spoof of 2016!” and you want to win an argument.
You hate yourself and everyone around you.
You’re too busy keeping up with the Joneses.
MHT Verdict: Skip it!
When you make a spoof of a horror movie and the horror movie being spoofed is actually funnier than what you produced, that’s something.