While we promise not to continue to suggest you buy Star Wars: The Force Awakens (because by now you probably have), we can’t promise we’ll recommend anything on this week’s list of DVD releases for purchase. Is there even anything worth watching amongst the DVD releases for April 12th? Keep reading and find out:
The Forest (Check out our Movie Hot Take from earlier this year)
Super Simple Synopsis: Woman tries to find her twin sister in the suicide forest of Japan.
Why Buy?
You read that “Super Simple Synopsis” and didn’t think, “You have to be freaking kidding me!”
Why Rent?
You like jump scares. You’re a horror freak to the point where you have to see every horror film released.
Why Stream?
You can’t imagine 91% of critics and 75% of audiences are right about not liking it.
Why Skip?
You can’t see it for the trees.
MHT Verdict: Skip it!
The Forest had it’s moments… like the relief you felt when the credits finally started rolling. Other than that, it was pretty disappointing and a stark reminder of how bad movies released in January typically are.
About Scout (Did Not Review)
Super Simple Synopsis: A movie about… Scout.
Why Buy?
You’ve been waiting for a coming-of-age road movie because there hasn’t been one in a few weeks.
Why Rent?
You have to see a movie about a 15-year-old bad-ass Goth girl on a road trip with a suicidal mental patient.
Why Stream?
You have to know if Danny Glover says, “I’m too old for this shit!”
Why Skip?
You have serious doubts About Scout.
MHT Verdict: Stream it!
The supporting cast is strong enough to make this something worth tuning into if it happens to get the opportunity to jump into your online viewing queue but it doesn’t feel like the movie you’d go out of your way to see.
Flight 7500 (Did Not Review)
Super Simple Synopsis: I’m tired of these mother ******* supernatural forces on this mother ******* plane!
Why Buy?
You’ll have to tell me because I can’t even think of a funny reason.
Why Rent?
You are trying to keep someone who is already nervous about flying from taking a flight.
Why Stream?
You only need to cover “airplane” on your movie watching Bingo card to win.
Why Skip?
You recognize that a movie made in 2011 with an expected 2012 release date that was released overseas in 2014 and then doesn’t come out until 2016 cannot be good.
MHT Verdict: Skip it!
The only reason we aren’t calling this a train wreck of a movie is because it’s about a plane. This looks worse than flying on Frontier Airlines.
Standoff (Did Not Review)
Super Simple Synopsis: Guy protecting 12-year-old murder witness gets in a standoff with an assassin.
Why Buy?
You’re the world’s biggest Lawrence Fishburne fan.
Why Rent?
You know it’s nothing close to the same but the concept reminds you of Leon: The Professional so it can’t be all that bad, right?
Why Stream?
You have always wanted more talking than action in your action flicks.
Why Skip?
You think this one sounds like it’s out of ammo.
MHT Verdict: Stream it!
While Standoff looks like it is more likely to disappoint than thrill, this looks like the perfect movie to pop on when you happen upon it in your streaming service and ditch early on if it doesn’t hook you early.
Lady in the Car With a Gun and Glasses (Did Not Review)
Super Simple Synopsis: A beautiful secretary steals her boss’ car, goes to a town she’s never been to but everyone knows her and becomes a suspect in a murder when a body is found in the trunk of the car she’s stolen. What? You thought I was just going to write the title again?
Why Buy?
You saw the original 1970 version and can’t wait to see what they’ve done in the remake.
Why Rent?
You watched the trailer, have no idea what is going on but now you have to know what the heck is going on with this movie.
Why Stream?
You want to see it but the thought of subtitles makes you less interested to the point where you can wait to stream it rather than rent it.
Why Skip?
You don’t care about the lady, the car, her glasses or even the gun.
MHT Verdict: Rent it!
The trailer is strong enough to create interest but vague enough to add it to the list of movies we should see. The few reviews that can be found are mostly good, too.