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10 Mobile Apps That Shouldn’t Get A Movie (But You Never Know!)

This week, The Angry Birds Movie hits theaters. Those cut screens we all skip to get to the next level of the game on almost everyone’s cell phone is getting a big budget animated flick of it’s own and knowing Hollywood, if it’s a huge success, we might get more mobile apps converted to the big screen. Here’s 10 we hope we never see but if we do, we hope they’re done this way:

  1. Fruit Ninja: The Movie
    Gutsu (Jackie Chan) and his trusty sidekick — a pig named Truffles — must battle their way through the National Fruit Ninja Tournament of Champions to see who is the world fruit slicing champion. Along the way, Gutsu’s girlfriend is kidnapped and his nemesis Wdog-999 (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) gives him an ultimatum: Throw the competition or watch his girlfriend end up in the slicer.
  2. The Adventures of Talking Tom
    The world’s most popular wisecracking cat (now voiced by Matthew McCounaghey) gets into adventures and drags in all of the other Talking characters in the My Talking Tom and Friends Universe to hopefully get a few spin-offs. What’s it about? Who cares! It features a talking cat. Isn’t that enough?
  3. Pou! That’s Who!
    The Simmons family find a strange alien creature in their backyard after a freakish meteor shower. They must feed, clean and care for Pou while keeping him safe from their nosy neighbors and the federal government who plan on dissecting Pou to find out about his alien origins.
  4. What’sApp: The Social Network 2
    A biopic about the creators of What’sApp, Brian Acton and Jan Koum. The film eventually intersects with Jesse Eisenberg reprising his role as Mark Zuckerberg. Details are sketchy but the third act revolves around Acton and Koum swimming around in a Scrooge McDuck-like vault full of money and coin after the company is sold to Zuckerberg for $19 billion.
  5. Subway Surfers
    After being caught tagging a subway station, Jake and his friends must outrun the Inspector and his dog Dog who are on the hunt to bring in the hooligans. The next three hours see Jack and his friends run across the continent staying a step ahead of the pesky law.
  6. Clash of Clans: Rise of the Clashers
    Hey, if they can make a movie out of Warcraft, they can make a game out of this.
  7. Dropbox
    It’s 5 years in the future and the world of information security is at it’s most lucrative. The world has moved most of their information to Dropbox, an evil information storage syndicate who illegally allows hackers in the backdoor to access client information. The company then holds the information for ransom from their richest clients and it’s up to Glenn Stenson (Tom Cruise) to stop them.
  8. Temple Run
    Temple Run follows Guy Dangerous (Shia LaBeouf), an archeologist on his quest to uncover a golden idol in the ancient temple in the Gardens of Bomarzo in Italy. Dangerous soon discovers the temple is inhabited by demonic man-eating monkeys. Dangerous runs from the demonic monkeys for the next 90 minutes of the movie. Spoiler alert: The monkeys eventually catch Dangerous and eat him. You know you want to see Shia LaBeouf eaten by monkeys. Eli Roth directs. There are no plans for a sequel.
  9. Just A Little Candy Crush
    Timmy Toffee is in love with Tiffi, the clerk at the candy store. One night, he gets locked in the store where he befriends the various candies. They all devise a plan to get Timmy and Tiffi together and get Tiffi away from her boyfriend and evil boss Mr. Yeti.
  10. Sam Shazam
    Sam Shazam is a huge karaoke star known for his ability to name and sing any song with hearing only a few notes. James Corden stars as Sam. Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow reprise their roles from Duets in a cameo.

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2016-05-18
By: Brian Joseph
On: May 18, 2016
In: 10 Things
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