Hot Take: Awful CGI, bad stereotypes, silly inside jokes about the cast and an unnerving obsession with canine genitals makes for one of the most painful watches of 2018.
I had zero expectations for Show Dogs walking in. Somehow, this “for kids” talking dog/buddy cop movie starring Will Arnett and the voice of Ludacris failed to meet that level of expectations. How do you fail to meet zero expectations? Watch Show Dogs and you’ll see.
If, for some reason, you watch the trailer for Show Dogs and think it’s worth a look because there are cute dogs and something in the trailer makes you laugh OR you have children who seem to be interested, it would be more entertaining to type “cute dogs” into the YouTube search bar and watch what pops up. I’m really not sure what would make someone want to see this movie, let alone why someone would green light it. It should be no surprise, though. Director Raja Gosnell’s track record is dubiously brutal. His resume includes Home Alone 3, Never Been Kissed (probably his best work), Big Momma’s House, Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, Yours, Mine & Ours, Beverly Hills Chihuahua and The Smurfs and The Smurfs 2. Brutal!
Other than a commitment to make every review at least 300 words, there’s not much else to say about Show Dogs. Screw it! Sometimes rules are made to be broken. Don’t see Show Dogs… you’ll thank me later!
Why Watch?
Your relative worked on the crew and you made a promise. Or maybe you’re obsessed with jokes about animal’s genitals? I’m grasping at straws here.
Why Skip?
You have to have all of your toe nails and finger nails removed… it’s more entertaining and less painful. You literally have anything to do other than this. Anything! Root canal! Punching yourself in the face! Anything!!!