A reboot, two sequels and Blinky Bill gets a movie. That’s all crammed into part 3 of BuRStS #35:
The Legend of Tarzan —MOVIE HOT TAKE REVIEW—
Super Simple Synopsis: The Tarzan myth meets Alexander Skarsgard’s abs.
Why Buy?
Alexander Skarsgard’s abs. Duh!
Why Rent?
You know what? Margot Robbie isn’t that bad of an actress.
Why Stream?
Even if you don’t care for Tarzan, this version has Christoph Waltz and Samuel L. Jackson.
Why Skip?
You abstain from reboots.
MHT Verdict: Buy it!
This is a stretch but it was difficult to find 5 movies to buy this week.
Blinky Bill: The Movie –NO REVIEW–
Super Simple Synopsis: Are you familiar with Blinky Bill? If not, you won’t care anyway.
Why Buy?
Think of your children.
Why Rent?
Think of yourself.
Why Stream?
Think of the babysitter.
Why Skip?
You’re child-free.
MHT Verdict: Stream it!
Yup! It’s that bad this week.
Ice Age: Collision Course –NO REVIEW–
Super Simple Synopsis: Umm… it’s an Ice Age movie.
Why Buy?
You’ve bought the entire Ice Age collection and now you feel the need to complete the collection.
Why Rent?
You miss Ray Romano’s voice?
Why Stream?
Hey, I was struggling to come up with a reason to rent, you really think I can think of a reason to stream this garbage?
Why Skip?
Maybe just maybe if we all stop watching these movies, they’ll stop making them.
MHT Verdict: Skip it!
Can we move on to another Age?
X-Men: Apocalypse —MOVIE HOT TAKE REVIEW—
Super Simple Synopsis: More X-Men on one of the many X-Men timelines that are happening in the movies.
Why Buy?
It either has Patrick Stewart or James McAvoy and Ian McKellan or Michael Fassbender or all 4 or something.
Why Rent?
You love comic book movies. Even mediocre ones.
Why Stream?
Is that Hugh Jackman as Wolverine again?
Why Skip?
You’re over it.
MHT Verdict: Rent it!
A serviceable sequel worth it for the one Quicksilver scene.